Day 15 - Adult Acne

Today, I had a dermatologist appointment. It's my 4th one in the span of a year, as I'm currently on a medication for adult acne.

Since I was 18, I have struggled with acne. It turned really bad at 18-19, so I went to the doctor about it. He subscribed me Accutane and told me it was sort of experimental. I think since then, it was stopped in the States. I was on it for 6 months, and suddenly I stopped having my monthlies. It was a toxic substance, and I stopped taking it. 

I just resigned myself to having it, because it was the US and going to the doctor all the time was too costly for me. When I moved to Australia at 25, my acne was between just constant and bad. At 26, my husband agreed it was time to go to the dermatologist, because it was just getting worse.

I had a nice South African dermatologist that put me on Roaccutane. It cost over $200 for a 60 day supply, and because I complained about the side effects of the US version, he put me on birth control. But after 6 months, he suddenly left the country, and it left me with no dermatologist. Since it was so costly a venture, I just decided to stop again.

Then just over a year ago, my acne got very bad again. I got cystic acne, and it was both painful and unsightly. So I went back to my GP and was assigned a new dermatologist. He put me on Oratane (yet another version of the two I'd already taken). So far he's been very patient. Because I had issues in the first try and didn't complete enough the second time around to make sure there weren't side effects, he had me do a 20mg dosage every other day for months, and tried to ease me into every day after that. I started getting sick to my stomach, so I stepped myself back to every other day again, and he was happy to do that. I still have another 18months before I will be off it, and while I am, I have to be very careful about the amount of sun I have. And I have to get blood tests every 3 months. 

One major side effect of this medicine is liver failure, so it takes a heap of monitoring to make sure it doesn't happen to me. 

Once this is all over, I have to undergo surgery to help remove all the scarring. I'm hoping once it's done, I'll look normal! I can't remember a time when I did. Even in high school, I would get random pimples. 

As an adult with acne, my self esteem has always been quite low. When I first meet people, I wonder if that's the only thing they see. My face is always red, even now, and there's this common misconception that people with acne aren't clean. Yet, I would spend 10-20 minutes a night cleaning my face. It's one of the most frustrating things. But on top of my acne, I have seborrhea, which sometimes breaks out as well. Red patches across my forehead and neck make me even more unsightly. 

So I hope that someday, I will look in the mirror and just see a smooth face. That would be a dream come true!