I've been struggling lately. Emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically. I've changed so much in my life over the years. Pushed myself out of my comfort zones, and now I'm feeling myself fall back into them.
I haven't written since March. I can make every excuse in the world, but I think it's mainly because I've given up hope to actually do anything else with my life. I fear I'm falling into depression.
My work life has been just as bad. I've become stressed so bad I forget simple things. I'm feeling both useless and angry all the time, and I'm not that kind of person. It's affecting my relationship with my bosses, and I am so afraid now that I'm far from redemption. That scares me and has started to make me wonder if I'm not cut out for all this. I'm a fighter, but I can feel that fight failing out of me. I sense that a certain kind of apathy has started to fall over me.
I guess that's why I'm writing this. Hopefully something will trigger in my head and make me kick myself back to my senses. I'm a generally happy person, and I'm happy with everything else in my life. I love my husband, and I like that we don't struggle to make ends meet. It's not a perfect existence, but I've had a hell of a lot worse!
I just want to be back to my normal self!
